Sunday, August 3, 2008

Hey It’s Me, MV!

I'm back!!!

I know it’s been a very long time but during this our annus horribilis, I’ve been playing Mommy, uh dedicating a lot of time to my Captain. You think it’s easy watching someone “vamos” their way into the place you were born to occupy? You think it’s easy for my Captain seeing all those fans talking about he’s washed up?! Hell, it’s not easy for me to read all those threads about my role in Juliette’s death. I’m innocent I tell ya! Uh, excuse that outburst. So what if I enjoy a steak or two every now and then? If I see one more sushi platter…ahem. My Captain as you all know loves sushi so what is good enough for him is good enough for me. I know you all think I follow a sushi platter with a hefty slice of mud cake but I don’t. Someone with the initials MB keeps sending me these little treats but I have no idea who he/she is so after a nibble or two I simply throw them away and enjoy a nice granita. See? I’m not living high on the heifer or whatever the phrase is.

Wait a minute, it’s quiet. I’ve gotten so used to the sound of sobbing it’s like white noise. Why is it white noise anyway? Let me take a peek…ah, the sedative has kicked in and he’s sleeping peacefully. He keeps having this recurring dream of being in a bull ring and he’s the bull. He can’t quite gore the matador who is waving a Babolat racquet instead of a sword. The doctors are suggesting psychological help but my Captain is stronger than that. I do worry about this wicked laugh he uses when he’s having his other dream. He seems to get pleasure out of that one. He won’t discuss it with me but when he wakes up he always checks the news in the Balkans. Whatever. At least he doesn’t wake up screaming from that dream.

Well enough about that. I write this blog to get things off my chest and comment on what is going on in the world beyond our domains. I got a text message from HFPY the other day. He’s somewhere in the world trying to get himself to be considered a judge for Project One Way or something. Hey, I know you think the Devil in Prada is one of my BFF’s but to be honest with you I’m beginning to suspect she has it in for me. I mean everything she sends me seems to be one size too small. I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but when something keeps happening you begin to suspect the motive behind it you know? I do think she fancies my Captain because the stuff she sends him, while sometimes a little too much if you get my drift always fits him to a tee. He’s not a mannequin you know. He’s the Number One Tennis player in the world and don’t ever forget it. Anyway I changed his number so she can’t go around me anymore, no pun intended smartasses.

HFPY also mentioned that his ex retired from playing tennis. Who knew? Since I have had some spare time lately – you have no idea how hard it is sitting in the hot sun with people you can barely stand pretending to be above the fray while all you want is a nice juicy, uh, bowl of granita or a cooling sorbet – I’ve taken a peek at the world of female tennis since the little, uh, whatever retired. Talk about chaos and mayhem! No one wants the top spot. It’s like a circus over there. First the one who thinks she’s the tennis version of the late Katherine Hepburn has it. Then she doesn’t. The Russian, the one from Siberia, says she’s too injured to play. Little Miss wind me up and I’m there looks like she’s choking on a peach pit every time they say she’s close to being number one, and the other Russian seems to be spending her time rolling around on concrete courts instead of hitting the ball back over the net.

Meanwhile the little one from Slovakia has weaned herself off of French chocolate long enough to play some good tennis. The Tatar Princess has also seemingly decided that she is the one to lead her family into the light while her brother is imploding. Oh well. I guess her brother is content with the long line of women waiting to soothe his poor battered ego. Whatever…Just a minute. My captain is awake again…

I’m back. It seems that his dream changed slightly. An army from the Balkans invaded the bull ring and broke the racquet of that pesky matador who’s been disturbing my Captain’s sleep. Some minions are bringing the matador new racquets but for now my Captain is happy. He’s polishing his crown and says it’s safe for the next few days or so. Sigh. Oh well. I’ve prepared myself for the worst, and I’m calling a new doctor. Those sedatives are wearing off wayyyy to fast. Now if I can only find out what that new room he’s had built is for. It’s like a panic room. I wonder why he needs something like that? He’s also taken his Samurai gear in there. I would be concerned but I already have the combination. Just in case. They don't make minions like they used to.

Anyway tata for now. Hope to talk with you soon.


1 comment:

Helen W said...

Too funny Savannah!

For my part I'm glad our favourite matador has had an extra day of rest to ready himself for the Olympic and US Open bulls (now that he has secured the No 1 ranking).