Thursday, July 5, 2007

Hi! It's Me, MV

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Thank you all for showing concern as to why I haven’t been doing my blog. Hello? If you haven’t noticed my Captain has been busy and I, as his partner, get to share in the wild and wonderful life he lives. I mean come on ladies wouldn’t you like to be flown all over the world by private jet, have bespoke clothing made for you free of charge, and get to sit next to all kinds of wonderful people who come to pay obeisance to the greatness of your man? Admit it. You would. So excuse me if I’ve been a tad busy making sure everything and anything that will disturb my Captain’s existence is kept away including fuddy dud coaches who actually think my Captain needs their fossilized wisdom in order to compete at the top level of his chosen field. Now that that nuisance is out of the way my Captain need only tap the vast storehouse of knowledge that is his brain in order to continue his ascent to GOAT status.

That said I have, late at night while my Captain sleeps I do sometimes go on line and see just what his minions, uh, fans, are saying about him. The haters, those envious of his greatness are like evil, legion, and we who see his glory must be on constant alert to make sure their thoughts are crushed like the bugs they are. Anyone who does not see the greatness of my Captain is obviously, well, jealous and unable to stare directly at his brilliance.

I have to say I am shocked at the snarking about his man purse. Let’s not forget that it is part of the special clothing that was provided to him and celebrates his achievements at the All England Lawn and Tennis Club. The NBC network showed the bag up close so that you haters can see just what a testimony to him it is. The little Swiss flags with the consecutive years is just too subtle for some. He also has the same flags on his sneakers.

To you people who think he carries some small animal or my lunch inside I say go take a long walk off a short pier. I also saw some references to the proper attire for carrying a man bag of that size. Again, go take that walk.

I guess this is the place where I should mention that unfortunately HFPY and I have had a falling out. Yes, it was in relation to the bag my Captain was given. He wanted my Captain to wear a sailor hat with the initials “RF” embroidered in gold. He also wanted a little crown emblem added to the hat. The crown comes next year. He was making noise about getting next to that young French woman who seems to be as beauty challenged as the Piranha. I mean that hair looks like something a twelve year old raised in a cave, or a hold over from the sixties would sport. And we won’t mention her weight will we? No, I didn’t think so. He wants to take her on as a project but he has trouble visualizing her as a twelve year old boy.

There has also been some controversy about the long layoff between matches for my Captain. What’s there to argue about? He doesn’t make the schedule. If his fellow club members listened to his voice of reason and decided to stick to tradition about Middle Sunday why should there be controversy? Wimbledon is all about tradition and my Captain believes that the old ways should be upheld. So what if most people today are godless heathens who would rather drink and carouse all night Saturday and sleep it off on Sunday? Should the Club be held hostage to that sort of person? I say no. You should also know that my Captain sent flowers to Tommy along with his best wishes. He hopes that Tommy takes all the time in the world to recover. Those types of injuries only get worse if you come back too soon.

Before I leave I must also address those rumors about my Captain and I. Yes, I’m wearing a wonderful solitaire. Canary of course and a tastefully large number of carats…ahem. But we both believe our private life is just that, private. I will not discuss it any further except to say it is gorgeous isn't it?

Oh my goodness I almost forgot! I hope you all like the picture I started this post off with. It was taken by one of our most loyal subjects, uh, fans. I am so sick and tired of all the debate about famous asses that leave my captain out. I am so sick of hearing about that American Brat and his ass and I don’t even want to talk about The Boy and his self proclaimed famous ass. I’m sure all of my Captain’s fans recognize the beauty and subtlety of his derriere as shown above. It does what it’s supposed to do and completes the beauty of his form. So people, listen up. When this debate breaks out again please make sure to include the above picture and praise it to the heavens for it’s sublime beauty and merging of form and function okay?

I must leave now since it seems to have begun to rain and our, I mean his match is rescheduled after The Boy’s tomorrow. I had been assured that there was absolutely no chance of rainfall going forward. I have to call that granny and find out if she’s forgetting things again. She’s been derelict in her duties of late and I for one am not amused.

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