Hi It's Me, MV from Somewhere In the World

MV on the Australian Open

From somewhere.

Hi it’s me, MV. Whew. I’m just getting a chance to breathe after all the excitement of Australia. I’m sure you all know by now my Captain won the entire thing, a Grand Slam, without dropping a set. I know some of you are saying he had an easy draw and that no one survived who could challenge him but he is NUMBER ONE IN THE WORLD!!! He should be able to show these losers how the game is played without breaking a hard sweat or actually letting one of them win you know?
OOOPSIE! I shouldn’t call his competitors losers. They’re fine players who are just not up to the standards set by my Captain. It’s not their fault they’re lesser beings is it? So what if all the “tough” players were in the bottom half of the draw? The fans want to see Number One. His draw guaranteed that.


I have to say I was so glad he won. He “lost” an exo to the American and while I’m used to him, we’re soul mates, I have never seen him so upset. He said that losing to the American was unacceptable. He actually practiced hard, I mean really hard to make sure that no one would surprise him in Melbourne. All the talk about the American being ready to take him out really got to him, NUMBER ONE IN THE WORLD.


By the way he watched the women’s final. He said that he was watching just to see if the level of tennis went up. He seemed very interested in the way things were bouncing but he said his interest was professional. I know him and I know that is the only reason he was watching. He said La Princessa is a very good player and he admires her game and how she gets the most out of her body. When she did that booty shake he told me he didn’t even see it because he was concentrating on how she was bouncing the ball. I’ve been practicing the booty shake. I’ve almost got it. Boy will he be surprised.


I shouldn’t be saying this but Chi Chi Le and that girlfriend of his came by to have dinner with us. It was wonderful meeting a woman who is friends with almost every South American and Spanish player. I wonder what would happen if she learned to speak English? We managed to get a few minutes alone to talk and I tell you the stories! She very proud of turning, I mean catching Chi Chi Le’s eye. She’s still getting threats from El Vampiro but she’s not afraid of the little dolls with pins stuck in odd places. She has an aunt who lives up in the mountains who laughs at the little dolls with pins and makes her own. I would be worried but she seems okay. She did mention she saw Chi Chi Le reading a Playgirl magazine but he told her there was a good article in it about tennis. It’s wonderful that the Captain’s work has had so much influence and is making more and more people aware of tennis.


But I digress. My Captain talked to Chi Chi Le about the Boy. Chi Chi Le is very interested in the boy. Of course it’s in a professional way. He’s with La Gloriosa now. She says once you’ve been with her everything else pales in comparison. I’m not sure what that means. Does she suck the life out of her victims…I mean boyfriends like that Swiss Miss? Her fiancé’s lips do look a tad smaller. My Captain told him how to play the Boy. It worked! My Captain was so afraid of meeting the Boy in the final! I shouldn’t say that but I’m among friends no? I mean, forget that no business. I’m sure you all won’t rat me out to My Captain. Besides he’s been practicing poses in the mirror. He wants his hair and clothes to look just right in his pictures. He is NUMBER ONE IN THE WORLD and should carry himself a certain way. We’re already working on the Wimbledon Jacket.


But it hasn’t all been sweetness and light. My dear dear friend, HF PY and the Piranha…sorry, his wife have come to a parting of the ways. Seems she found out about his love of bull fighting. Personally I don’t understand why that should break up a marriage but stranger things have happened. Apparently one of the bull fighters, well he was dressed in a toreador outfit, was demonstrating to PY how to deliver the coup de grace. She walked in just as the final thrust was taking place. Somehow she wasn’t amused. To each her own. I would have loved to see how that final sword thrust is delivered.


Anyway PY is out in the cold with just the clothes on his back. Yes you nosey people he did take the frilly shirt and the tee with the suede lace ups on the left shoulder. It just looks so good on him. He did tell me job offers are pouring in from all over the world. Quite a few have come from Thailand. He said that he is entertaining some of them. I do hope things work out for him. We’ve been to Thailand. My Captain likes to take those special tours to visit young people. He told me to relax and I spent a lot of time on the beach recharging my batteries. I had such a relaxing time. The beaches there are wonderful and you are ensured of your privacy.


Well we’re taking a rest and getting ready for the clay court season. I saw there are some pictures of the boy dancing on top of a bar in Shanghai. Rumor is his parents were not amused but Lord Charles needs to be able to take a rest from being his keeper. My Captain says The Boy should be allowed to express himself and do the things most young men his age do – get drunk and act like an ass. Of course he has been known to get roaring drunk and then bagel an opponent but that was that young man from Argentina who had one dread lock. You know who he is. Who ever heard of having one dreadlock?


Anyway I wish some of the press would cut back on the praise of my Captain. He hasn’t met a mirror he didn’t like and I wish he’d stop it. He's thinking of coloring his hair again. I draw the line at that platinum blond color. No way.


Well that’s it for now. I celebrated our, I mean his win with a magnum of Krug. (Actually it was one and a half but who's paying attention?) It’s wonderful. Now if only this room would stop spinning…


Well TTFN. We play again in Dubai.

Note: The above is for entertainment purposes only.